Rapunzel. Narfi style.

The sun's heat was beating down on the tall tower, where a young girl was sitting. The young girl was cleaning, trying to keep her dirty blonde hair out of the way. And failing. She had never cleaned her hair, not once. So it was greasy, long, dirty hair. That reached out of the tower and to the ground. This girl happened to be called Rapunzel.

Oh, and she had dead bodies in her hair, was that mentioned? Rapunzel had been stolen from her parents in their Kingdom by a jealous witch who raised her as a servant. The Witch would come every day to see how Rapunzel was and give her some food, but not too much, she didn't want her to be fat. Rapunzel was cleaning because it was only a few hours before The Witch came. Meaning Rapunzel had to make everything spotless in time for her arrival.

Rapunzel was a pretty woman, and had many suitors. Most of them tried to free her by climbing up her hair, they tripped and snapped their necks, getting tangled in her long locks. The Witch would make Rapunzel work even harder when she saw a new addition to the growing amount of dead bodies in her hair.

"Rapunzel! Oi, Rapunzel!"
Rapunzel ignored the voice and carried on cleaning. Eventually, she felt a tugging on her hair and rushed to the window, her current suitor was climbing up her hair.
"What are you doing?" She hissed, her face twisted into a scowl.
"Trying to free you!"
Rapunzel rolled her dark eyes, glaring down at the man. "Get OFF!"
"You want to be free, don't you?!"
" . . . Well, yes. But you're only going to-"
"Then at least let me try!"
The determined look in her eyes made Rapunzel hesitate, maybe he would succeed? Maybe she would be freed? The sudden hope that flared in her refused to be quenched and she smiled down at the Suitor. "Okay then."

Of course, it didn't take long for him to snap his neck. Rapunzel tried to shake him out of her hair but he only got tangled. She wasn't too panicked until she heard; "Rapunzeeel!" Called out in a sing-song voice. She looked around at the messy tower and looked down to the ground. Maybe she could escape? She looped her hair around the bed and lumped out the window, keeping a firm hold on her hair. Her head stung as the hair pulled in the other direction. She almost reached the ground before she ran out of hair. So she hung, suspended, about halfway down the tower. She started to panic.

The Witch eventually appeared, looking out of the window from Rapunzel's bedroom, she looked up to see her and started crying.
"Rapunzel! You betrayed me, why?" The Witch sounded genuinely hurt, causing Rapunzel to cry more.
The Witch start cutting on Rapunzel's hair, causing her to panic. "No, no, no, no, no!"
"Haha! Yes!" She cackled as the last of Rapunzel's hair was caught, and she fell.

If this were a happy story, Rapunzel would have somehow Ninja'd out and saved herself. However, it's not, it's a Narfified story. And Narfi's a bitter girl. So Rapunzel fell to her bloody death and people found her mangled body, assumed it was a dead dog and poked it with a stick, then moved on.

AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Narfi out.

The Princess and The Frog. Narfi style.

About a few hundred or so years ago, there was a princess. She was princess of some sort of land. She didn't really know, she wasn't one to pay attention. The Princess was a beautiful girl, with long, flowing, dark hair and bright green eyes. She had pale skin and curvy legs, a nice pear figure and pointed ears, she looked like a fairy from a distance. A very emo-like fairy. This Princess was called Dahlia and everyone loved her. But the problem with Princess Dahlia was that she was a moody b*tch.

Princess Dahlia was obsessed with herself and her looks. Like many stereotypical girls. The Princess often fussed over her hair, or how much she was eating, she was also anorexic, because she purged the majority of meals she had eaten. She was convinced that she was fat. Dahlia was always angry at someone and her face seemed in a permament scowl, if someone gave her the wrong coloured dress, she'd sentence them to death.

For the Princess' eighteenth birthday, her parents organised a large party. Dahlia didn't like this idea, it meant someone would screw up and give her the wrong present. They always did. So she decided to command everything at the party. And she came down the stairs into the ballroom wearing a tight teal dress, at least, it was meant to be tight. It looked two sizes too large. She walked with elegance down the stairs to people who were paid to clap and say she looked amazing. Which was true.

The whole party seemed rather pathetic, no one seemed to enjoy themselves. Princess Dahlia fumed silently at this while she went out onto the balcony.
"Hey," said a voice.
Dahlia looked around, expecting someone to be near her. Instead, sitting on the balcony next to her was a fat, ugly toad. Princess Dahlia recoiled slightly in disgust.
"Ew. Was that you who talked?"
The toad croaked, "No. It was the air. Yes, it was me, you dim b*tch."
Dahlia stepped away from the toad, tempted to squish it with her foot. "What do you want?"
The toad croaked again, hopping closer to her. "I am actually a prince, from another land. A witch turned me into a toad, and she said that in order for me to be human again; I need a kiss from a princess."
Dahlia raised an eyebrow and flicked the toad away from her, wiping her finger on her thigh. "Find another princess. I'm not kissing a toad."
"Just once?!"
"No," Dahlia said with an air of finality, but seeing the sadness in the toad, she felt a bout of pity and picked it up. "Just once."
She kissed the toad. It wasn't an enjoyable experience, the toad's skin was bumpy and horrible, and it was slimy from the water of the pond below. She placed the toad back down.
Nothing happened.

"What is this?" The Princess demanded when she saw that the toad had not changed into a prince. She felt betrayed. However, the toad seemed just as confused as she did. He hopped back.
"Are you not a princess? Why haven't I changed?!"
The Princess, disgusted with herself, ran up to her bedroom and hid under her bedcovers. Her horror refused to leave, she couldn't stop thinking of the kiss.
Eventually, she fell asleep.

In the night, she was visited by a witch, the exact witch who turned the prince into a frog. She looked upon The Princess. To punish her for not helping the frog; she decided to cover The Princess' face with warts and her skin became spotty and horrible, her cheeks became ruddy and her eyes bulged slightly out of her head. The Witch left feeling achieved.

The whole family in the palace woke to a terrified scream from Dahlia's room, The Princess was staring at herself in horror in the mirror. She was ugly! Tears streamed down her face, and her family couldn't look at her, couldn't talk to her. They were horrified that their daughter was suddenly horribly ugly. The commoners of the Kingdom spoke about her harshly. And she was teased by her sisters.

Eventually, this grew too much for the Princess, and she hunted the Frog down, begging he would help her. The Frog looked upon the Princess, and remembering her coldness towards him, refused her.
So the Princess ran off into a forest, and hid. She starved to death.
In the Kingdom, it was said she had become a monster in the woods, and killed mis-behaving children. This was to make the children behave.
But they never actually knew the truth of the Princess Dahlia. They never knew what had happened to her.
She was just forgotten.